Christmas can be a poignant time for those of us grieving the loss of a loved one. The festive season, often marked by family traditions, shared meals, and warm memories, may feel incomplete when someone important is missing. However, Christmas also offers an opportunity to celebrate and honour their life in meaningful ways. Here are some ideas to help you keep your loved one’s memory alive while finding comfort during the holidays.

Here are 10 ideas that may help you at this time of year.

1. Create a memory ornament

Decorate your Christmas tree with an ornament that symbolises your loved one. This could be a photo, a small keepsake, or even a handmade decoration with their name or a special date on it. Each year, placing this ornament on your tree can become a cherished ritual.

2. Light a candle

Lighting a candle in memory of your loved one can be a simple yet powerful act of remembrance. Place it on your dining table, mantelpiece, or in a special corner of your home, and take a moment to reflect on the joy they brought to your life. Some people find comfort in saying a prayer or sharing their thoughts aloud about their special person while the candle burns.

3. Cook their favourite Christmas dish

Food is often deeply tied to our memories. Preparing and serving your loved one’s favourite Christmas dish is a wonderful way to feel connected to them. You might also use this as an opportunity to share stories about them with family and friends about why this was so special to them.

4. Visit their resting place

If it feels right for you, visiting your loved one’s grave or memorial site during the festive season can provide a quiet moment of connection. Bring a wreath, flowers, or a small holiday decoration to leave as a token of love. And if you don’t want to go there, or can’t, revisiting it in your mind can be as good; some quiet contemplation about what made them special, their impact on your life and those around them, allows them to be part of your world as it is today – their lasting legacy.

5. Share stories and photos

Gather family and friends to share stories, photos, and memories of your loved one. You could even create a memory book or photo album to commemorate them. This shared time can bring laughter, tears, and a sense of closeness to those who also miss them.

6. Donate in their name

Consider donating to a charity or cause that was meaningful to your loved one. Many organisations offer the option to dedicate your donation, and this can feel like a tangible way of honouring their values and legacy.

7. Start a new tradition

While old traditions may feel bittersweet, starting a new one can help bridge the gap. This could be something small, like watching a particular film, taking a walk, or writing a letter to your loved one that you place in a stocking or special box, whatever feels right for you and fits into your world today.

8. Attend a remembrance service

Many churches and organisations host remembrance services during the holiday season. These events often provide a comforting space to honour those we’ve lost, surrounded by others who understand the complexities of grief at Christmas.

9. Create a memory box

Fill a box with items that remind you of your loved one—photos, letters, keepsakes, or even their favourite Christmas songs. Opening this box during the holidays can be a way to feel close to them while cherishing your memories.

10. Allow yourself to feel

Finally, remember that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and it’s natural to experience joy, sadness, and everything in between during the festive season. Give yourself permission to embrace these feelings without guilt or expectation.

Finding comfort and connection

Christmas without a loved one will inevitably feel different, but it can also be a time to celebrate the impact they had on your life. By honouring their memory in ways that feel personal and meaningful, you can find comfort in the midst of loss and keep their spirit alive in your heart.

If you’re struggling this holiday season, remember that you’re not alone. Reach out to family, friends, or support groups to share how you’re feeling. Sometimes, simply talking about your grief can be the first step towards healing. Above all, be kind to yourself. Grief is natural and it affects all of us in different ways and Christmas can be a challenge. We hope that you will find these suggestion helpful and would love to hear how you celebrate your loved one’s life at Christmas…